Relationship Lesson: Confessions of a Clean Freak

DSC_1009Writing this post, I know immediately my mom is going to scoff at the title. I was a slob as a child and even now during the school year my room gets messy and the dishes stack up. When it comes to summer vacation though, I have the time to relax and tidy up each day, so I do. I even find it somewhat therapeutic.

The past couple months after moving into Roosevelt Square I’ve especially kept the house clean because I love the way it looks, and I want to be respectful to my friend and roommate Maryssa.

So when Spencer got home after a month of traveling for work, I’m sad to admit I focused more on his messiness than the wonderful fact that he was home, and the funny thing is, he’s not even a messy person. I was just nitpicking everything I didn’t like.

While I was gone during the day at my internship, Spencer was finally able to relax at home and play video games – which was much deserved, but while he was gone, I had settled into a routine schedule that included cleaning up after every meal.

I grew accustomed to my schedule, and I liked it very much. I liked making the bed in the morning, and I liked un-making the bed at night. But what I forgot temporarily, is that I like Spencer a lot more than any of those things.

When I got home and saw the bed unmade because Spencer was lounging in it playing video games, I was slightly annoyed. When I saw an empty bowl and cup on the desk, I was frustrated, and when the kitchen sink greeted me with 5 more empty cups because Spencer doesn’t like reusing dishes? GAH!

So over it. My irritation sizzled slowly up until I hit my boiling point a week in and finally told him how I felt. It wasn’t a fight. It was just a, “Hey this is irritating me,” and an, “Ok sorry I’ll be better.” – Obviously a little more complex.

The reason for this post though, is that we were supposed to have three weeks together before he left again for work, and it was interrupted with an amazing opportunity that he couldn’t pass up, and as I tearfully said my good bye and drove home from the airport, I couldn’t help but regret spending one second upset at him for something so silly.

I’m not saying when your man’s a pig let it go – definitely not. His inability to rinse a cup? It needs to change, but Spencer’s not a slob at all.

The truth is when he’s home all day on his day off and wants to play video games? He really doesn’t need to make the bed considering he’s laying in it, and yeah he left a bowl on the desk, but who doesn’t? It wasn’t as if it was there for days or weeks – it was maybe a few hours, if that.

And while I didn’t yell at him every day he was home about it, I let it bother me inside – and when you’re upset inside, it’s just impossible to be fully happy.

So I’m driving home after dropping him at the airport, and I’m thinking – Wow. He is my absolute best friend in the entire world, and because I like how a clean bed looks, I let my stubborn self spend time frustrated at him.

I couldn’t believe I prioritized a personal preference over enjoying his company. Unfortunate as it is, I’m sure it will happen again, but at least this time I’m more aware and can nip it in the bud sooner. So for any readers that made it to the end, remember this –

Loving a clean house is something many people relate to, but if your partner in crime isn’t as crazy as you, just tone it down. He or she is so much more important than a sink of dirty dishes, and it’s important to remember how valuable his or her friendship is to you. I guarantee you won’t regret letting go of frustration and anger. You’ll be having too much fun enjoying your friend!

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